https://blogs.thegospelcoalition.org/justintaylor/2014/12/21/the-story-of-pain-and-hope-behind-i-heard-the-bells-on-christmas-day/

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When I write

I dream

I tell myself I want to

I tell myself I can’t

I dream

I suck on a lollipop of fear

until the cardboard stick

shreds within my mouth

I spit it out.

I quit.

I dream